Dear diary,
Wow! It’s been quite a long time since I last updated you; I have been pretty much with school workloads and stress. However, I will summarily get you updated on all that has happened in school after I left Abuja for Port-Harcourt in order to get my registration and clearance done.

I already shared the good news of my admission into UniPort with you. Well my clearance and registration went smoothly.
It has been a pleasant adventure living alone, away from home. So many nice things; from meeting new friends, having the full-time opportunity to practice my hobby (you know I love cooking), to learning new things. I love it here.

Dear diary, a whole lot has happened. On this note, I will write what I can currently remember.

When I got here I was so confident of my academic capabilities. I have always had my infallible academic dexterity as a source of encouragement from the outset. I just seem to have this “brilliant girl” badge on me… Smiles

When school resumed I was attending lectures regularly and punctually. I was known as the most devout student in my hostel (off campus). How amazing it was meeting so much brilliant fellow nursing students in 100L. Sincerely I felt intimidated at some point. As time went on, I realized that our syllabus contained the usual secondary school topics with only a little additional information. I personally went through the scheme for all the departmental courses, wow! I was familiar with a lot of the concepts. I was highly emboldened. It was at this point I said to myself, “no more worries” .

To cut the story short, I stopped attending classes from that moment. I read my books on my own independent of the lecturers’ teaching having so much confidence. I was popular in the department basically because of how I always smashed questions on our “Nursing 100L” WhatsApp group chat. It turned out I was intimidating a number of students in the department. Smiles…
We wrote our first semester examinations and I performed excellently.
By second semester, I was already full of confidence. I was carrying out every academic activity majestically. As hard as it is to confess, I must say that I developed too much ego, pride, I was pompous. I looked down on a lot of fellow students as well as I maintained the “brilliant girl” badge.
Second semester examinations, I did it again having a CGPA of 4.68 after 100L. It was as a result of this excellent performance that uncle Kingsley bought me the iPhone 8 I use presently.

I went home for the long vacation without having to bother myself about studying. I mean, I already have the confirmation that the university’s struggle is easier than I was told.

After the long vacation, we finally went to the medical school. Hmmm. Time flies, Esther is in 200L already.
We did our course registration. This time I saw courses like anatomy, physiology, biochemistry and others. Once again I didn’t attend class regularly since I am the “guru”.

It was time for C.A. We wrote sociology first, it was smooth. We did others, unfortunately at the end of it all the highest score I had in my C.A was 22/40 which came from sociology.

It was then that I realized that I wasn’t that guru, I could only perform excellently in 100L due to the foundation I already had in secondary school. I have always been good with my physics, chemistry, biology and other basic science subjects.

But right here, the “game changed”. There was no foundation to solely rely on as all the students had about equivalent stance on the new courses I wasn’t studying as much as required. There was so much shame, couldn’t ask for help. Even if I did I doubt if anyone would offer to assist me since I didn’t help the ones that needed my help back in 100L. I was stingy with knowledge and look down on some of them.
100L was easy for me; 200L, I feel so lost, the “game changed“. I can not announce my results to my parents – I can’t tell Uncle Kingsley.

Our exams are about 3 weeks from now and I don’t think I’m close to prepared – I am definitely not.

WRITER : Franklin C. Aliakor
Institution: Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka
Written: August 2020

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